I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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