God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize