first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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