i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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