mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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