I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How naked do you want me to be?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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