i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
