Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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