Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
