i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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