I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
