Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
