Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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