8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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