party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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