2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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