...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ttyl tear gas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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