Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
