Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
