my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
soo... how was my night?
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