How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
