Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
