WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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