I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
