Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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