Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
