You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
