I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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