we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
