ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
