I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
