I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?