Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

Fav 30 4279 934
share tweet
(269): View more from Michigan

We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds

Fav 15 7097 838
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went

Fav 7 1997 3651
share tweet
(775): View more from Nevada

she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

Fav 10 6178 1671
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again

Fav 6 3726 1140
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.

Fav 4 1791 904
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

Fav 11 869 1203
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married

Fav 1 34 106
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?

Fav 0 31 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT