She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
