Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.