it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.