...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
