I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
