life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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