ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize