I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
