no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
