its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
