Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
