i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
