I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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