Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
