she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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