Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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