when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
