Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
