How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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