tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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