That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize