why didn't you poke me back
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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