don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
