Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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