How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
