my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
