My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
