I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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