I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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