I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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