my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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