the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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