Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
