So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize