did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's just like the Real World with babies
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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